three layers of death

november 20 2022

my three layers of death

emotional death

at the beginning of scorpio season, my friend Owen took is life. this incited an emotional, surface response to death. it is one of those things that happens rarely in a person’s life. one of those pivotal things. it put my physical reality into a mode of repose and feeling — feelings incited and not unlike death. i lost control of where my thought went — like the spirit leaving the body. i sank and i floated and it all felt congruent. i could say i was sad, and that conveyed nothing. what i actually felt could not be described.

mental/energetic death

this then incited a spiritual death. a diving deep into the depths of my mental processes, my patterns, my thoughts, my actions, and how it is all woven together with the workings of the outer world. the vibration is lower, deeper, rooted. a change of pace is in order. a re-grounding. the towers are toppling, structures are dissolving. i am thrown in the deep end and paddling through the void.

physical death

tomorrow i leave home to undergo my wisdom tooth surgery. this is the culminating step in my three-part underworld quest. i will be physically put to rest. the powers at play have prescribed me this period to lay. i can be set in my coffin after the work has been done. this is when all can ruminate. this is when i scratch nirvana. this is when i can lay and sprinkle the ashes. to rise like the phoenix inside.